The New Face

First of all i would apologise for not being in touch for a long time, have to say that it was really unacceptable on my part .

Anyways as i am sitting here typing this blog , i am waiting for my result that will declare me as a graduate. Finally the dream of becmong a graduate will be complete.
Also I just got through pune university's MJMC(masters in Journalism and Communications)where there were only 2 seats for General candidates throughout India but outside Maharashtra. I just took a room nearby my college which is located in the heart of the city( i dont know this my sister tells me so)and have a goan roomate Omkar Rege..Uptill now I was comfortable with the fact that allright I'll be alone living independently, finally away from the naggings and restrictions dat i face at home. But then suddenly realised that now everything will be my decesion,everything will done as i want and as soon as i thought of that i realised one more thing, i will have noone to take advice from , i have to mend my own problems. All this left me wondering why is it such a good thing to be independent? why has alwayws dependency looked down upon? as a negative thing? just because u cling onto someone and rest through him comfortably?why cant be there a personal will to depend on others? the answer lies in the irony of the situation which is even if you dcide as your will to depend on someone it was ultimately your decision to do that . In a way it was your decesion to depend on others , you took that decision independently .

Yesterday night my jiju asked me this question .. Are you scared of living alone?
I answred him -yes . But his next question was.. why? I could not answer him . There were so many thing.. What if I fell while shiiting on the indian style bathroom ... What if i run out of money and have one week left and wont get to eat food.. what if eat something rubbish outside and my stomach gets upset? what if i lose my college i card and don have mooney again to pay for a new one , what if sumone steals my guitar ? there are so many things that I will experience here ... that i dont even know about ... and yes I am scared... Having said that , I want to stand up against this and face it.. I want ti learn things. I want to be finally independent and then take whatever is thrown aginst me formy decesion. I need to learn that I am solely responsiblr for my decisions . Maybe this will help me in controling my lying habits. Maybe it will make me more tolerant and patient towards things and maybe it will teach me to wait for everyone to sit and eat together and not start eating first ....

The catch of the whole situation is that it will be totally me who will be taking decisions and finally it wont matter whatever result comes out of it .

There will be times definitely when i would want go give up and go to delhi again but there will be also times when i would enjoy and say that this is the best time of my life.

In the span of 21 years of my life I have had changing phases in my lifer which i believe go with every living individual which help him to realise something, it maybe small or big, its irrelevant, the fact is that there is a sense of realisation. after class 5'th i realised that football had a certain rule by the name of offside, after class 8'th i realised how important are sports for you, after 10'th i realised the importance of music,after 12'th i realised the importance of concentration, after the three years of my college i came to realise hat respecting opinions will make u understand people better .
This is the new face that probably will have in the next two years -the new face which I would try hard to get , not that i loath my current face- its just that new face will be a better version of me - like an upgraded software . This is something that actually need to kind of correct my ways to go about life, stop being a narcissistic bastard that i am and try to understand the fact that just by understanding people i cannot be in the society until and unless i also respect their time and there interests. it will give me the vision to see things on my own and enjoy what is the best for me and what is worst for me .....

the face is so much upon me that i started blogging again !!!

Cheers!!!!